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[whitespace] Tara

Tara Gives Off Smoke Signals

Dearest Tara,
I love your column. I think you're really wise, and I admire your dedication to helping others (even though you probably don't get paid very much). Anyway, I'm trying to quite smoking, and I figured that you must have a tip or two for a chain smoker like me. If you think it would help, we could meet at an outdoor café to discuss. My treat.
Sincerely, Puff Daddy

Dear Puff,
A psychotherapist once told me that it is unethical to take away a person's defenses without giving them some strengths in return. Like all the people who write me, I know that you, Puff, are a profoundly unhappy person and have more defenses than a gunboat. Far be it from me to kick away a desperate person's crutches.

But as we all know by now, a cigarette is a weapon that is deadly at both ends, and I want to spend quality time with your secondhand smoke about as much as I want to spend time with you. I mean, don't take this the wrong way, but ... boundaries. You seem real high-maintenance.

I guess what I'm trying to say, Puff, is that you should gently substitute your one addiction for another, less-harmful one. Don't be afraid to interpret "addiction" broadly. For example, why not develop an addiction to friendliness? Or common sense or money management--or how about all three? Turn handicaps into handi-CANs.

So, next time you feel the urge to light up a "cancer stick," instead pick up your phone and call a friend. "I just got the new Safeway Savings Guide!" you'll exclaim. "Gatorade--buy one, get one free!"
Hope that helps! Tara


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From the July 27-Aug. 9, 1998 issue of the Metropolitan.

Copyright © Metro Publishing Inc.